Rum Balls

I am such a liar.

There is no rum in these, nor will there ever be. Well, if I make them there won't be.

I can't say I enjoy liqueur or alcohol in anything sweet. I still remember my excitement one afternoon at the school gate, when someone's mama brought rum balls to give out to the kids. Rum balls are seriously one of the only sweet things I not only eat but truly enjoy. I bit into that glorious little bundle of condensed milk, chocolate and coconut with gay abandon, and immediately wondered what the hell was wrong with it! This wasn't the rum balls of my dreams - this one tasted weird and icky and had some kind of foul tinge to it. I was assured it was only rum essence, given I was about nine years under age, but I was bitterly disappointed. Now looking back on it, all I can think about is Garth in Wayne's World 2 when Honey Horneye gives him an adult drink and he spits it out and exclaims "oh, this coke's gone bad!"

Garth, I know exactly what you mean.

While we're on the subject, rum balls or truffles or dream balls or whatever you want to call them, should never include sultanas or be made from Weet Bix. Thank you.

Ingredients:
1 packet Arnott's Marie biscuits, or plain sweet biscuits (250g)
1 400g tin condensed milk
1 cup coconut
2 tablespoons cocoa

Directions:

1. Crush the biscuits either with a potato masher or in a food processor until reasonably small crumbs.

2. Add condensed milk, coconut and cocoa and mix.

3. Roll into balls, roll in coconut and leave in fridge at least an hour to set.


I recommend making two batches, just quietly....

Easy Microwave Fudge

Um, why have I not made fudge before?

This is stupidly easy. And fast. I had no idea.

To appease my family's sweet tooth, I made two batches, one with M&Ms, and one with crushed candy canes on top. I like cooking, they like chocolate, we are a match made in kitchen heaven.

Plus, I like condensed milk, and this just means I get more of it.

Ingredients:
1 400g can sweetened condensed milk
100g butter, cubed
1 1/4 cups firmly packed brown sugar
1 tbs golden syrup
100g chocolate (any type), chopped if not in bits.

Directions:

1. Put the condensed milk, butter, sugar and golden syrup in a glass bowl.

2. Cook on high in the microwave for 6 minutes, stirring at 2-minute intervals.

3. When there are bubbles all over the surface, stir in the chocolate until melted and smooth.

4. Pour into 20cm pan lined with baking paper. If you want toppings, add them now.

5. Cool in fridge for 1 hour. Cut into pieces.



I still get excited about shapes my measuring cups make. dork.



This is how it should look when it's ready for the chocolate.



Shortbread

Shortbread is another of those gifts I like to make and then have to make more because I eat it all.

Again, shortbread + tea = perfection.

Ingredients:
250g butter, at room temperature
1/2 cup caster sugar
2 cups plain flour
1/2 cup rice flour

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 150C.

2. Put caster sugar and flours into a bowl. Rub in butter with fingertips until dough starts to stick.

3. When the dough comes together, squeeze into a ball and spread out evenly onto a tray covered in baking paper. Prick all over with a fork and score lines where you would like to cut into pieces.

4. Bake for 15-30 minutes until starting to brown slightly around the edges.

5. Cool on the tray and cut into squares.

Peach Jam

This year, I have decided to make all my christmas gifts - and it has been amazing. What you think would be extra effort and work actually isn't. Well, to me anyway. It's hot, I'm pregnant, I'm not excited about the hordes of shoppers, I hate the constant struggle over that "perfect present", and I'm spending more time at home lately so am kicking it old-school and putting that time to good use. This way everyone gets something they like to eat or use and I haven't spent a fortune on one of the tons of presents they're going to get that day anyway.

Besides, I get to keep one of just about everything.... a good trade off!

I love jam, it goes so well with toast, or crumpets, or scones or pikelets, or just about anything you can have with tea, which is obviously going to appeal to me! Jam seems so terribly British, and makes me think of the Famous Five eating huge slices of thick, freshly-made bread with churned butter and home made jam.

Jam is insanely easy to make. And tastes way better than the store-bought stuff, even the ones in fancy jars. Isn't that always the way?

And because I like to make things easy, I've made this out of canned peaches. But you don't have to.

Ingredients:

2 large tins canned peaches (should be equivalent to 1.5 kilos of fresh)

1.5 kilos warmed sugar

Juice from 1 lemon

50g packet Jamsetta

Directions:

1. Warm the sugar in a 160C oven for 6 minutes.

2. Drain the peaches and add to a huge pot - you want the whole mix to only occupy 1/3 of the pot.

3. Mash the peaches to as much of a goo as you can. Add the warmed sugar and Jamsetta and stir constantly over medium heat until dissolved.

4. Bring to a boil and boil vigorously 10 minutes. Have ready some saucers in the freezer. Place a level teaspoonful on a cold sauce and after 30 seconds, drag your finger through it. If it crinkles, it's ready to jar. If not, try again in three minutes with a new saucer.

5. Leave to cool 5-10 minutes, then spoon into warm, sterilised jars and seal straight away.

May the Famous Five be with you.