Occupy Veggie Mama: 24 weeks

At least, I think it's 24 weeks. I'm going with that.

You know how you try to take a thousand photos, but your mirror's dirty and your face looks lame and your kid is sneaking her head into the shot and you're in a hurry? Well... that. But she was being awfully cute at my feet chatting to the cat. And hey look - there's a bump! Promise that's not pasta this time.

I now officially can't fit into any of my jeans (PS if you have recommendations of good maternity skinnies, let me know!) and my shirts ride up just that annoying little bit. I loathe shopping though, so I'm hoping I can sort something out.

The inside baby is getting stronger and enjoying rolling around and poking me everywhere. We did find out the sex but I'm not telling anyone. I figured it's the last time I'm going to be pregnant so it would be cool to make use of the technology. Also needed to know if I had to completely pack up Abby's baby clothes or just wash them and put them back in the drawers. Given I've not done anything with her clothes at all except grimaced at the pile and hurriedly shut the closet door, I'm not entirely sure that works as an excuse!

Speaking of Abby, she's totally not the outside baby any more. She is becoming an actual toddler. Just today she's started walking greater distances, picking herself up without the aid of anything and choosing walking over crawling a lot more. She's chatting heaps, repeating everything she hears and tries to sing the alphabet, which is possibly the cutest thing I've ever heard. She knows about 20 words, and uses about half of them at the appropriate times, unprompted. I'm absolutely enthralled with watching her learn.

I've been trying to teach her age-appropriate (she's 14 months) independent tasks just so she's a little bit more self-reliant for when the new baby comes. Things like using a spoon, and getting her to come to me when I say her name rather than going to pick her up from ripping all the toilet paper off the roll. I just don't know what I'll be experiencing with the new baby, so the more cohesive we are as a unit, the better for all involved! However she will be 18 months, so I'm expecting a hell of a lot of general 18-month-old behaviour anyway.

I had a little moment the other day when she and I and her dad were all playing in her room and he got up to leave. She crawled after him, stopped, looked back at me, then continued on her way. I got the real sense that it was a profound moment for me - I remember all those years ago learning about attachment, and that a secure attachment manifested itself in a baby confident to leave their mother and explore, knowing that she was always there. I also remember thinking even though I was only 20, I was going to make sure that when I had babies, that's the kind of attachment they had. Twelve years later, I saw that become a reality. It was a really good feeling.

Speaking of feelings, I've been pretty good, with the odd exception of a sporadic but gross emo day. Usually when I'm very tired. Semester ends tomorrow, so I will be cutting back to working one day a week instead of two. Doesn't sound like much, but it's gonna make all the difference in the world, especially now I know how fast time goes and how soon I'm going to be feeling like a whale that's actually fallen out of its transport carrier and is being dragged along the road behind the truck.

Now, if I could just get myself a chef and a masseuse, and possibly someone to clean my bathroom, I'd be in a pretty good spot indeed. I really am taking each day to be grateful for this unique time in my life and to really experience it. I'd just be able to experience it a hell of a lot more if I wasn't scrubbing a shower.

xx

Occupy Veggie Mama: 20 weeks

Holy halfway, Batman!

It has gone so fast. Especially when you consider my last pregnancy felt like it went for 48 years and that was just in the first 20 weeks.

As in the above photo, there seems to be a lack of actual baby-shaped bump. Even in tight clothes, it's just a pasta-and-garlic-bread bump. Hilarious... I was small last time but not this small. And I thought with my fetching lack of stomach muscles, I'd be half-whale size by now, but no. If this means I'm having less than a 9lb 2oz baby, I'M EXCITED!

If not, it just means boy do I have a lot of room behind my ribs.

Still excited though. Just more lowercase.

I was first punched and/or kicked at 17 weeks, and would you believe I was reading about baby's first movements and when to expect them at the time. I felt it move and went "oh! cute!... aw hang on, this has to be coincidence". But no, he/she has been getting stronger every day since that moment and I fully expect them to claw their way out by about 32 weeks. If they are anything like Abby, they'll have me crying with their brute force in no time. Abby was that big and strong that one day she broke my waters just by kicking me.

I'm not feeling as tired and cranky as trimester one, thank goodness. I actually feel quite normal. And in true second-child syndrome fashion, at times I even forget I'm growing one. Quite amusing at times when Abby puts her head on my stomach to go to sleep and is pummelled in the face from the inside. And then I'm all like oh my god. two babies. I'm gonna have two babies.

No cravings yet to speak of, though I notice an increase in my hot chocolate consumption. I'm sleeping incredibly well and terrified of it all being interrupted in a matter of months.

For now I'm going to enjoy this period where I feel like a regular human, because it's going to be over so damn quick and I'm going to be hauling my gut out of bed six times a night to pee and be generally uncomfortable and unable to breathe properly in no time.

And I shall continue to enjoy that look of uncertainty when people see my stomach and want to ask but aren't quite sure. Heh.

PS I'm hanging out on The Hoopla like a big kid today, with one of my favourite recipes. Come visit!

Occupy Veggie Mama: 16 weeks

So far, so good.

I'm not quite as mental as my last post on pregnancy, but if I know anything, it's that hormones are strange and they'll probably pop up again when I least expect it.

Watch out pretty much anyone in any supermarket, ever. And anyone who drives like a turbodouche.

I've passed the gross morning sickness stage, and can eat like a normal human again. Still on Craving Watch, as I expect to be struck with the insatiable urge to eat pickles and peanut butter at any minute. I didn't get any cravings last pregnancy and I was so sad. I wanted to eat something weird and I never did. Given that this pregnancy is so different to the last one, I'm waitin' and wishin' and hopin'.

My blood pressure is ridiculously low, I'm at a loss to explain how I'm even functioning if my blood is basically sitting there with its feet up on the coffee table instead of being pumped to my vital organs. Suffice to say pretty much everything is a mammoth effort and it makes me feel incredibly gross. Surely I'm not going to faint this time... surely.

This post even sounds like it was written by someone who can't even summon the energy to whine properly.

I'm also getting those funny twinges in my stomach ligaments so I know everything's growing and doing its thing. I'm sleeping better and spending half my day in the ladies'. So... normal!

I weaned Abby this week, as the toll on my already-very-underweight body of feeding and growing two humans was too much. It was such a good time for her, even though had I not fallen pregnant I still would be feeding. And if it wasn't so much of a strain I'd be happy to feed until she didn't want to any more. But she has bottles at day care and hadn't made the connection that mum + boob = milk, so she hasn't even raised an eyebrow at the changes. Most placid kid EVER. I was hoping to wean straight to a cup, but have to make do, with circumstances being what they are. Captain Flexible Mum, that's me.

The obstetrician visit yesterday went well, except for the part where the midwife asked me to fill out a form for my "birth choices" and I had to face the fact that I have to go through birth again. I had such a traumatic experience last time, and I've got a lot of issues stemming from it that need to be addressed before I can face this birth with the same calm and determination I faced the last one. Six months is not long enough! I'm very aware that the more I read about it, and talk about it, and speak to others who have gone through similar things, the better I will feel, so it's time to stop ignoring it and face it head on.

So if you've had a successful birth after a horrifically traumatic one, please let me know! Point me in the direction of posts you've written or read on the subject. Project Educate Veggie Mama starts now.