Friday, January 13, 2012

Five things I swore I'd never do when I became a mum.



My kid is only 9 months old, so I'm surprised I cracked so early! While there are several things I've held on to, my main aim as a parent is to be very Zen and flexible when necessary. So I say goodbye to these random things I said I'd never do because at the end of the day... they're not that big a deal :)

1. I would never, ever, EVER, refer to myself in the third person as "mummy".

For starters, I hate the word "mummy", never used to say it, and made it known to all and sundry I was to be addressed as mama. I would cringe when I heard other mothers say it, and swore it would never leave my lips. These days I can be heard saying "mummy help you?" and "give mummy a kiss" and I don't care who knows it. My strongest, most staunch oath disappeared pretty much overnight.

2. My crawler would never get around on an unswept floor at home.

I can see three dust bunnies right now from where I sit. But she hasn't noticed them yet, and that's the main thing.

3. My child would only eat packaged baby food if there were solid mitigating circumstances and for some reason there wasn't six months worth of food lovingly frozen for emergencies.

Um...

4. My child would not watch TV until the age of two, as per current research.

I thought this one would be a cinch. We aren't big TV people anyway. But have you seen her face when Giggle and Hoot comes on? And she sits there rocking with a big grin and clapping her pudgy little hands in delight? I'm not taking that away from her. At most it's on for an hour in the afternoon and she sits transfixed when any cartoon theme song comes on, then crawls off, uninterested when the music stops. She pays about as much attention to that as she does me when I read the 20 books I do to her every day.

5. I would never under any circumstances buy a three-wheeled pram - have you seen how ugly they are?

Ahh yes, but have you ever felt how amazing they are to manoeuvre?


I bet there'll be more that get left by the wayside as the actual experience of parenting reveals itself to be remarkably different to the theoretical version. My only hope is to stand strong on the things that matter and not sweat the small stuff.

What have you relented with? What standards did you lower a little?


31 comments:

  1. I love these. I'm expecting number one and currently refusing saying I'll never for this exact reason.

    Bettina @ lovelylittleone.blogspot.com

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  2. I had wise women friends having babies a year ahead of me ... so didn't set any standards. Saw first hand that you just had to go with the flow and work out what works best for you and your baby. And that your sanity was a priority!

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  3. The only one I was 100% sure I wouldn't do was the "mummy" thing... I had a feeling I'd cave on the others, but not to the degree I have!

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  4. Meh, they'll end up hating us at 15 anyway so who cares?!!

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  5. I was so sure about "mummy"!! Go with the flow is the best.

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  6. I went into parenting with little expectations. I was happy to just make it up as I went along, and come Greenie I had more goals and rules, things I didn't do the first time I wanted to try, or things that I found worked and i wanted to do again.
    The one rule I was strong on was that we wouldn't smack our kids. I am still strong on it actually. But it has happened. Once. bluey was 3 years old and drew on the furniture with a texta, a texta he had gone and found (we never kept pencils/crayons and certainly not texta's out to freely get because it's just a temptation they don't need, ask for it and sure I will get it, but toddlers don't need temptation). I was mad, understandably, we cleaned it up together, scrubbing the furniture while I lectured him about how we NEVER draw on furniture because it doesn't always come off, and we need to look after our belongings.
    We finished up and I asked if there was anywhere else he had drawn. He told me no. I told him that I wouldn't be mad but that I needed to know so I could clean it up now. He said there wasn't.  5 minutes later I found more. I lost it, and gave him a tap on the bottom and then excused myself and went to the bathroom and cried with guilt. Lying is something I cannot stand in my kids.

    Other than that I've been fairly flexible with expectations. Haven't smacked since, but I am open to it being an option if need be. Things would have to be pretty desperate and drastic though. I much prefer making my kids understand why they can't do this or that, and teach them the skill to think before they act.

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  7. I love this! All so true. Pretty sure I thought all of the above pre-kids too. Particularly the TV one, which my god has been useful since baby #2 came along. I also swore I would never refer to my husband as 'Daddy' but (cringe) seem to do it a fair bit now. Urgh. 

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  8. Very funny... Ditto on the TV and dusty floor front. Except I am Mummy to my boys... and I love it! Well actually that's not true, my 1-year-old says Mama. Which I love too... Anything but Mum which makes me - and them - sound so old! 

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  9. Very funny... Ditto on the TV and dusty floor front. Except I am Mummy to my boys... and I love it! Well actually that's not true, my 1-year-old says Mama. Which I love too... Anything but Mum which makes me - and them - sound so old! 

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  10. "I will never take up decoupage, cross-stitch or scrap booking" - Scrap-booking with expensive Swedish stationary does not make you exempt.  I know exactly what you mean about referring to yourself in the third person too :)

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  11. We are human. We are fallible. The best thing we can do for our children is strive every day to do our best, and better than we did yesterday. No absolutes, a little sympathy for ourselves when we fail, and a whole lot of love xx

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  12. oh my GOSH I do that too! I think he likes being called Daddy, but it must sound weird when we're in public...

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  13. I don't know why I didn't like it so much. I'm willing to bet anything that comes out of my darling's mouth will sound amazing, and if she wants to call me mummy, I'll love it haha

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  14. Mummy loves it! Still can't believe I do it. I'm not sure I'd scrapbook... mostly because I'm too lazy! Or too busy making crochet hats the poor kid will never wear haha

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  15. McDonalds, I swore I'd never take my kids to Macca's, I don't eat there so why would I take my kids to eat there. Well...... now its a regular treat, a bribe really, and it always works. They have a play in the play yard, have some fries, nuggets and juice, play with their cheap plastic toy and Mommy gets to enjoy a Chai latte and the free wifi.

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  16. Love this! I found my *cough* standards have lowered somewhat with second baby. Riley didn't have any fast food/junk food/sugar until she was about a year old. Piper on the other hand . . .  I've given her chocolate in the car when she was screaming her head off, I've given her fries from McDonalds and i've been known to split a cupcake between Riley and Piper - Riley gets the top half which is icing with a little bit of cake and Piper gets the bottom half which is all cake. And . . . I don't really feel bad about it. It's just food. She receives a lot of fantastic food. And being more relaxed about it is easier for everyone.

    There are only really two things that I haven't deviated from - physical punishment - I don't believe in it and I'll never do it. Not just from the point of view what works in terms of discipline and what lessons you are teaching, but because that's not the kind of environment I want in my home. And no controlled crying or crying it out to sleep train.

    Other things that have fallen by the wayside are TV, cloth nappies (had good intentions but just never actually did it), and any sense of embarrassment or shame in public in the presence of epic meltdowns.

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  17. Oh yes, your standards fall with each babe - This babe on the way now has NO hope ;)


    I think I have relented on everythinggggg!

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  18. Thanks so much for your very kind words. Who would think that 2 years later I still harbour guilt over it. We have certainly had more good times than bad since!

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  19. Zoey @ Good Googs - That's me to a T as well...I think once they ate it three times in one week - the youngest was down sick and nuggets were all I could get him to eat!
    I agree, don't sweat the small stuff!

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  20. A dummy. After several weeks of no sleep, Mum bought me one 'just in case', and C. loved it. Both kids were dummy babies, and after reading how soothing some babies find the sucking action I was okay with it despite the criticism I got. Weaning them off them was another story!

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  21. I promised I wouldn't tell other mothers what they should be doing; because I don't like it when people tell me what I should be doing.

    And although technically I have kept that promise there are times in my head when I am screaming "WHAT ARE YOU DOING???"

    And then I remind myself that I don't have all the answers, so I back away slowly.

    Love & stuff
    Mrs M

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  22. I have actually been thoroughly surprised at the support I've received about dummies. Nobody (bar the MIL, of course!) has ever said anything negative. I'm wondering how the weaning will go!

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  23. haha I do that to my own mother! "I would never do that!"... it's not wrong, just different.

    Although sometimes it is just wrong haha

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  24. I'm not a fan of smacking, and yeah... it's just food! I just don't want ole bigs to get a taste for it and then be in the grocery aisle screaming "I neeeeeeeed it!!!". Unless it's a carrot haha

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  25. I'm wondering what will happen here... I don't eat it, her father hates it and I'm thinking of telling her it's only for breakfast foods haha

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  26. You are such an amazing momma Mrs! xo

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