You know those days when everything gets on top of you? Stuff you didn't realise was weighing you down all becomes too much to carry? Then it takes one tiny straw and your camel's back collapses.
I had one of these days recently. I had been plodding along in my usual fashion, one foot in front of the other, trying not to get swamped in new-mother-juggling-work land. Or what I thought was my usual fashion. I hadn't felt any different, yet here I was after a slight public disappointment with hot tears pricking my eyes and a lump in my throat. An overreaction by any stretch.
As I sat in the car ready to go home, I caught hold of myself and wondered what the hell was wrong with me. Breastfeeding hormones? Tiredness? I'm not usually so sensitive. Sure I'd been looking forward to getting something done that needed to be done, and had met yet another roadblock with time ticking away too fast... but to want to cry? I've yet to see a man cry with frustration, but it seems women are born for it. Thanks, Eve.
I realised I'd been absorbing a lot of negativity without knowing that I had, and that I normally wouldn't. Things people had said to me that caught me off guard, butting heads ever-so-politely with well-meaning people which meant holding my tongue, lack of sleep, not eating anywhere near right, and the feeling that I was always one step behind everything in my life, running to catch up when I'm usually so organised. I sat there thinking "I've been holding on to that? Really?" about random things people had said... and I hadn't noticed until it was too late. Positive Pete had a Negative Nancy moment. And I can't say I liked it.
So I did what I always do when I know things just need some time to work themselves out in my head without overthinking it - I cook. It keeps my brain from overload and is an excellent distraction. Bananas have finally come down in price to a reasonable level, so I bought a couple and made Veggie Baby a banana pudding from a cute old book from 1985 I had laying around about baby food called Feeding Baby. There's a bunch of cute stuff in there, like warnings that "a chop bone could poke into an eye"... OK!
This banana pudding is way cuter than an impaled eye, though. I bet your little one will love it.
Mash half a banana with 1/4 cup milk, 1/2 tsp rice flour and 1 egg yolk. Pour into a small greased custard cup and bake in a moderate oven 20-30 minutes until set. Wait until cool before serving.
Ahh cooking. Where would I be without you?